Twin Boys

Rescued By Twin Blondes, I Was Bruce Willis For A Bit

Yesterday afternoon my family and I launched our boat to do a little fishing on the St. Marys.

On the way back in, the fuel tank ran dry with the gauge still reading 1/8. It is a brand new fuel sending unit. I knew it didn’t read correctly on the full side, but I had no idea that low side was wrong until yesterday. I guess I should have studied boating tips more thoroughly prior to launch.

We dropped the trolling motor in and started moving at about 1MPH against the flow of the river. About an hour later, around 7:00 PM, I heard familiar music. Lynyrd Skynyrd ! “Gimme Three Steps” was encored by the unmistakable drone of a Johnson 9.9hp outboard motor.

I flagged the boat toward us as it approached and asked the toe-headed twin boys onboard for help. I told them that in addition to paying for the gas I would give them 20 bucks each. They promised to return. Darkness fell, and with no moon, and no lights, dark it certainly was. 

There is a directional indicator on the top of my trolling motor. Against the tannin laden reflective surface of the St Marys, the glowing triangle looked like the raster-drawn space ship in the 1980′s arcade game “Asteroids”. The brightening stars further enhanced the effect. Miles away from man-made light, other than the dimming glow of my “Astro-blaster”, it was surreal.

At 8:15 PM we got a 1 bar cell phone signal. Worried that the boys may not return, and with the trolling motor battery heaving, I called 911. I got enough in to explain that we needed the Department of Natural Resources to send a boat to help us and I gave an approximate position. He asked for my “exact position”. I almost replied “Umm, I forgot my sextant”. Instead I told him that we were approximately 7 miles east of the highway 17 bridge, which is about 2 miles as the crow flies. The St Marys is a twister. 

At 9:00 PM I got a call from a Sheriff’s Department deputy saying that he was putting his boat in at Kings Ferry and would be there in about 20 minutes.

At 9:15 the boys showed back up, this time with no sound coming from their boom box. I quickly added enough 2 cycle oil the fuel tank and chased it with 5 gallons of gas. After thanking the twins and paying our debt we were back underway at 9:15. Unfortunatly we could only idle along, puttering,  because we couldn’t see a damn thing. No spotlight. 

We met up with the officers 30 minutes later who had stopped the boys a few miles up river. They didn’t let the darkness keep them from running as fast as they could. The deputies escorted us back and I got to play the part of Bruce Willis in Striking Distance. He and I have the same hairline – see the photo on the About the Author page. Since the officers did have full lights and a hand held bafrillion candlepower Q-beam, we followed them back to the dock at around 30 MPH. It felt like 100 in the dark.

After answering some questions, undoubtedly to verify my sobriety, I checked the gas gauge on my pickup and we headed for home. 

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