It’s Full Of Stars: Mass Effect Commentary

Some jerk vandalized my mailbox Sunday night or early yesterday morning. He got a base hit in mailbox baseball. A home run would have rendered the mailbox irreparable. I Guess the batter didn’t take his steroids like the other players in the RDL (Redneck Dipshit League). Last time this happened it was shot with a shotgun and did have to be replaced, so I guess banging out a dent, cutting a PT 1X6 to length, and hammering a few nails wasn’t so bad.

I was eagerly anticipating the delivery of Mass Effect in the mail, so I did what any responsible adult gamer would do; I came home at lunch to repair the mailbox. Turns out, it came via UPS so I could have saved the extra trip. Doh! Oh well, better safe than sorry. Acquiring a contender for game of the year is serious business !

I played Pirates of the Burning Sea (open beta), and a little World of Warcraft while waiting in line behind my wife and kids, all of whom had to take a stab at making an avatar and inching through the prologue. At 9:PM, however I logged onto my profile and began to create a character.

I don’t know why I bother trying to “build” a neat looking character for the RPG’s I play, they end up looking like some hyper-chromosomal knuckle dragger that would get off on knocking someone’s mailbox off its post in the wee hours of the morning. This time, however, I was going to aim high! By cod I was going to create a character that looked just like Duke Nukem and we were going to kick some alien (or whatever) ass.

Instead, he came out looking like an emaciated version of Edward James Olmos with a goatee (Think Erik Estrada with a tapeworm and a bad complexion). Maybe next time I’ll go for the Obama look. I wonder if some developer would consider making an RPG based on “The god’s must be crazy”. The whuwhuwhuwhuwhu sound of a thrown bottle would be a kickass combat sound!

By the time I decided on the psychological profile (yes really) and the base skill set I already had 45 minutes invested and off Mr. Olmos (or is it Mr. James Olmos?) and I went to do whatever it is we’re supposed to do in Bioware’s latest masterpiece.

Hmm .. this thing looks great graphically. They really did a good job with facial expressions. I do recall noticing, however, that the clothie character’s wardrobes don’t move well, or not at all, when they walk. It was really apparent at one point when someone, I think it was Captain Anderson, turned to walk away after allowing me to count hundreds of individual facial muscles as they moved.

The “Conversations” are fun because instead of choosing the words to say, you choose the intent. You may select “I’m leaving”, for example, and your character will say “We’re wasting time with this, let’s go!”. I found this humorous at times also because sometimes the comments come off as a bit too panty-waisted. Duke James Olmos is tough damnit!

My first stop was Edon Prime, some planet somewhere that had a mysterious alien beacon thingy that someone discovered. “It’s full of stars!” Monkeys chunking bones. That’s what the start of this game is missing!

Combat feels pretty good so far but I admit that I need more game time to figure it out. I don’t remember KOTOR’s learning curve being quite so steep, but I’m probably just over thinking the interface or not exercising patience while I learn. I couldn’t get the door open to the little shack because I was out of something called “omni-gel” (I think) and my character has no biotic hacking skills.

I continued to play, following the story line the entire time, but saved the game right after killing Fist and being unable to make it to the Quarian. The doors and elevators just outside the bar were locked and I was stuck in combat. I’m not sure is this is a bug or not.

Tonight I will restart the game with the default avatar and spec him with some of those Bio-Shock Style super powers.

While putting the finishing touches on this post and giving it a final read, my 9 year-old son yelled from the den; “Hey Dad, I just became a Spectre!”

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